PICTURED: All that Glitters Is NOT Gold…
” Dear GinaAlicia,
Since returning from Hawaii last month, My ex-box Broke, right after I found out I had lost my long-standing title to some douche-bag I never even heard of while I was gone. Then, my girlfriend Dumped me after she read my e-mail and found out I’d empregnated the chic I’d been doing on the side in Hawaii-to make things worse, she read the e-mail and deleted it before I got a chance to… so now I don’t even know how angry she is! Then, yesterday, I got fired from my job at the porn shop, blew out 2 tires (which I just replaced when I realized they were balled, as soon as I got home from Hawaii, when I forgot to to tell you, I stubbed my toe really bad, and then I’ve done it three more times since, same toe. To top things off, I’m getting a really bad cold, and my ex is pregnant too, except hers apparently might or might not bebe my best friends (which, from what she related, is definately not tthe case with the “fling” from Hawaii. Apparently that baby is 100%, beyond all doubt, without any question MINE.
So my question is this: As I was walking home yesterday( because my cell phone died, so I couldn’t call thriple A), a pretty girl complimented the lava rock I was wearing around my neck, which I’ve been wearing every day since Hawaii. But when I told her where I’d gotten it, her face turned white and she told me I MUST RETURN IT IMMEDIATELY OR BAD FORTUNE WOULD COME MY WAY. She then turned, and get this-RAN AWAY! Just Bolted, Like She’d seen A GHOST. WTF, GinaAlicia? Could This really be the reason for all my recent bad luck?
-The Sh** Has Hit The Fan, Bigtime”
PICTURED: The more Hawaiian rocks you possess, the worse your life will become. It’s “teamwork”!
Dear Fan,
I hate to have to tell you this, but from what it sounds like in your case, it could also be Karma. HOWEVER, I was Intrigued by your story about The Girl Who Bolted, and so I looked it up, and as it turns out, The Dirt ( and/or anything made up of lava rock) from Hawaii is Cursed! There is a special webpage http://www.volcanogallery.com/lavarock.htm, where you can return your rock(s); a website which is filled with page after page, after page, after page of…http://www.volcanogallery.com/lavarock2003.htm ….of accounts of people apoligizing for taking the rocks, many, many,many of whom, also shared tragic stories, similar to your own, except a lot worse: I’m talking family/pet deaths, multiple miscarriages, divorce, diseases, housefires, foreclosures…like, really heart-breaking stuff. As well as lots of pictures of seemingly innocent rocks, with rap sheets that read like demons’, some of (the pictures) I’ve included in this post.
PICTURED: And don’t let Size Fool You…this one has Killed at least twenty people…
There are plenty of other, unrelated webpages, which relate similar stories. I could not find any “sucess stories” about keeping lava rocks. http://www.nothingsforkeeps.com/2007/07/cursed-dirt.html#!/2007/07/cursed-dirt.html, http://antisuccess.com/index.php?/dirt/collection-methods/, http://www.snopes.com/luck/pele.asp, http://archives.starbulletin.com/2008/06/30/news/kokualine.html
All concur that the culprit behind the curse is Pele,http://www.hawaiinursery.com/articles/legendoflava.php, http://www.hawaiilogue.com/stealing-lava-rock-brings-bad-luck-or-does-it.html, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Customs_and_etiquette_in_Hawaii Volcano Goddess who apparently considers the rocks her childrenhttp://www.moolelo.com/talkstory/messages/3159.html, http://www.timelessmyths.co.uk/stealing-rocks-from-hawaii.html.
PICTURED: Pele: “Put the Rock Down, RIGHT NOW!!!
Lesser known myth about Pele: “It is said that if a visitor plucks her red ohelo berries or ohia blossoms without first performing the necessary ritual and offering, consequences may occur, from rain showers to destructive lava flows. http://www.to-hawaii.com/hawaiian-secrets-and-mysteries.php”
Well, except for a few that say a park ranger made it up to detour …well to detour people from taking rocks http://www.fukubonsai.com/bi3.html, . But that doesn’t explain all the horror stories, and what else but horror could be compelling enough for people to actually send them back?! This is not your average American behavior, AT ALL. (Would you ever mail those seashells back to a beach in California?! HELL NO! Point Proven.)
PICTURED: Hawaii…Try Not to Get Any Sand in your Shoes…OR ELSE!!!!
Personally, I think Pele’s Curse Seems a bit Childish and Unneccesary. Especially considering that she actually hurts people. What a BI***!!!! I mean there are plenty of dirt and rocks to go around. Just ask the folks at Santuario de Chimayo, I’ll get to that in two seconds (literally).
For whatever reason the dirt in Hawaii is really cursed, I think we should all just accept it for what it is, and Not F*** With Pele.
On the flip side, Holy Dirt Exists Too! NOT in Hawaii though, in New Mexico. But ONLY at the Santuario de Chimayo.
PICTURED: Santuario de Chimayo http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/.
The Legend behind the Holy Dirt is this:
One tradition recalls that during Holy Week on the night of Good Friday, Don Bernardo Abeyta, who was a member in good standing of the Hermandad de Nuestro Padre Jesus el Nazareno (Penitentes), was performing the customary penances of the Society around the hills of El Potrero. Suddenly, he saw a light springing from one of the slopes of the hills near the Santa Cruz river. Don Bernardo went to the spot and noticed that the shining light was coming from the ground. He started to dig with his bare hands and there found a crucifix. He left it there and called the neighbors to come and venerate the precious finding. A group of men was sent to Santa Cruz to notify the priest, Fr. Sebastian Alvarez.
The Santa Cruz church was packed with worshipers after the procession of “El Santo Entierro” (Holy Burial). Upon hearing the extraordinary news, the priest and people set out for Chimayo. When they arrived at the place where the Crucifix was, Fr. Sebastian picked it up and carried it in a joyful procession back to the parish church. Once in the church, the Crucifix was placed in the niche of the main altar. The next morning, the Crucifix was gone, only to be found in its original location.
A second procession was organized and the Crucifix was returned to Santa Cruz, but once again disappeared. The same thing happened a third time. By then, everybody understood that El Senor de Esquipulas wanted to remain in Chimayo, and so, a small chapel was built. This chapel is probably the one referred to by Fr. Sebastian Alvarez, which contains the hole with dirt, called “el pocito” (the well).
http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/History/apparition.html, similar version at http://www.archdiocesesantafe.org/AboutASF/Chimayo.html
.
PICTURED: El Pocitohttp://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/Prayer/pocito.html
The dirt is said to have cured many physical ailments, and the room which contains El Pocito also contains many crutches, casts, etc that people have abandoned, and Letters of Thanks, upon being miraculously cured, by the dirt. http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/Prayer/miracles.html ….It is even said to have cured heartbreaks (which I’ve never tried but last time I was there I rubbed some on my head, and I feel that it’s helped me tremendously to be saner)…pretty much the Opposite of the type of things Possesion of Hawaiian Lava Rocks will do to you….
And Get This: They refill the dirt Everyday (multiple times a day during the summer, weekends, and Lent) from the nearby hill where the Cross was Originally found (and yet, they somehow NEVER RUN OUT, PELE!!!!LEARN ANYTHING YET, BI***??!!!)
They suggest that you use the Holy Dirt in the following way:
| First: Bring silence to your heart and mind. Try to listen beyond yourself, your own worries and concerns. Jesus says: “Do not be afraid.” With fear in our hearts we cannot recognize, much less listen to Him.Second: Humbly acknowledge your weaknesses, mistakes, sins and illnesses.Third: Tell God that you need Him, His wisdom, His strength, His guidance, His forgiveness, His love and healing.Fourth: Share with God your wishes but also tell Him to show you His plan and will for you.Fifth: Ask for understanding and courage to face whatever God has planned for you.Sixth: Rub the Holy Dirt over the part of your body in need of healing while you invoke the name of Jesus as your Lord and Savior. You finish this prayer with: | |
| Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. Amen. | |
| © 2010 Holy Family of Chimayo — all rights reserved | |
http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/HolyDirt/Suggestions.html
PICTURED: The NICE WAY to tell Visitors to be Respectful, aka No Curse….
There are many accounts of the Healings and Deep Feelings of Santuario de Chimayo, that are unrelated to the website, written by Catholics and non-Catholics alike. Here are just a few: http://inspirationmanifestation.com/886/santuario-de-chimayo-and-the-healing-dirt/, http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2168, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Santuario_de_Chimayo, http://www.oprah.com/own-miracle-detectives/Miracle-Detectives-Holy-Dirt-of-Chimayo, http://www.vivacolorado.com/ci_19547453?source=pkg, http://www.americamagazine.org/content/article.cfm?article_id=10633, http://www.igougo.com/review-r1373141-Oh_Blessed_Dirt.html
PICTURED: They left it somewhat vague whether this was the actual original crucifix or not, but it’s beautiful, either way.
http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/History/esquipulas.html
PICTURED: The Shrine is Open Daily, to Anyone, just Be Respectful.
P.O.Box 235 Chimayo, NM 87522 (505) 351-9961 e-mail: holyfamily@cybermesa.com, http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/contact.html.
PICTURED: I highly Recommend stopping by, if you happen to be in the Neighborhood…
If you cannot make it to Northern New Mexico, you can send a request for some of the Holy Dirt at http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/holydirt.html.
To tell you the Truth, it kinda sounds like you need some, maybe to Rub Over Your Self-Centered Heart. And, DON”T FORGET to return the lava rock to http://www.volcanogallery.com/lavarock.htm. And start wearing condoms, and making some serious money, by the sounds of it.
I hope this Answers Your Question…And, Um, Good Luck with All That.
-GinaAlicia
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